First Blog:)

This blog is going to be my place to vent and work things out for my self.
Most of them will be random and not really have flow, but I think this will really help me out in the long run.

Everything in my life is going really great right now.....at least on the surface. I just really want to do more! Explore and do something extraordinary!!!! I don't want to be this little girl from the midwest that doesnt do anything but eat and have babies. I am engaged and I love my fiance, but even he doesn't understand. He is fully content to work and sleep, thats all. No hobbies, no passions, no goals. There is just so much more to life then that. He has a good job and makes plenty of money, but likes to make up money problems for some reason. Saying that we are broke when that is not even close to the truth. He offers to buy things for me that I want or need, but either goes back on his promise, or gives me so much shit about it that we get into a huge fight. He makes it seen like I am asking for all of this money, when in reality he is offering. I never asked!! The money issue starts so man arguements. He says that his money is just that, his money. I have no say or can not make any comments on how he spends it. BUT he wants to know my accounts. How much money that I spend, how much I have left and feels the need to try to dictate what I do with it. I am truly at the end of my rope with this. He goes on and on how this is our money, and yet, when he is cranky or in a bad mood, it is HIS money. WTF!

I sit at my boring office job, everyday. Doing paperwork for a paycheck that barely covers the bills. The only joy I have is when I go to School at night. I am in school to be a hairdresser and I couldn't be happier with it. I get to do something that I really enjoy doing, with people that I adore! The ladies in my class are great and so friendly. It is truly comforting to go there every night. It gives me something to look forward to.

I come from a broken and yet fixed home. My mom got married when I was 7. My half-sisters and I are 10 and 12 years apart, and most times people think that there are only 2 girls in the family not 3. I get forgotten alot becasue I am an adult and do not live at home. They go and do things and I kinda get pushed to the wayside. Yet I am supposed to be the problem solver for the family. My mom, step-dad and sisters all call to talk to me about the other. It gets so overwelming at times, I just don't even know what to say anymore. Then there is my Grandma that is only 66 years old but is really losing it. She can't remember things and is so self involved. Most of the time she doesn't even realize that other people are talking and will just talk right over them. It is pointless to even try. Blah!